33. They All Turned Into Birds

It's a hard thing, talking about someone who has been affected cognitively by a brain injury. I've seen films where a character is affected physically by a neurological condition, but never one where it affects them mentally. There are things we simply don't act, and talk about. I won't even go into the fact that people with all kinds of disabilities watch all kinds of films that will never represent them, and the fact that there is no children's TV with a disabled main character.  You've got to hand it to Game of Thrones. It doesn't shy away from depicting disability, even if its portrayal is slightly problematic. Certainly, not a program for children.

It would feel wrong to try to describe how brain injuries affect different people. I am the only person in my centre who's had severe physical disability without mental repercussions.  It goes without saying that we must treat people normally and not patronise them. Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, and treated like an equal. Lots of the people living here will live here forever, and some, like me, are here for rehab. I tend to fret about the others, especially when the therapy team are a bit overstretched. I need to chill out. I can't help the fact that awful things have happened to people.

I just read 'Circe' by Madeline Miller, which came out last year. It's about the witch Goddess Circe in the ancient Greek epic poem 'The Odyssey', and a brilliant re-telling of the story through her eyes. It made me remember there are a lot of permanent transformations in mythology, especially of nymphs into trees and animals. I love how contemporary writers look at ancient stories, and try and imagine what it would actually be like, how people would respond to the change. In my imagination, brain injuries are a bit like that. People change, and few change back. So.e of us are getting there, making life as normal as can be. I wrote the poem 'Brain Injuries' off the back of these thoughts, comparing brain injuries to people turning into trees or birds.

I've just had a study needs assessment for university, as part of getting Disabled Student Allowance. You have to go to a meeting to chat about how Student Finance can best support you (in terms of supplying equipment) in your studies. We worked out all the kit I'd find helpful for studying, which has now been recommended for me. I've also applied for a grant from the Stroke Association, who give general living grants for buying any kit you might want to get after your stroke. (I haven't technically had a stroke, but fall under that category). I've also got my blue badge for parking, a cinema card so my carer goes free, and have just applied for a disabled bus pass. Today I wrote to the council about the lack of drop-curbs around my centre. I'm on it. No Greek myth will happen here.

I can shade those eyes now.